SHOULDN'T THEY EAT GOLD?:

The Blue Man Who Threw the Montana Race to Tester: In Big Sky country, a libertarian with a very puzzling medical history did just enough to give the Senate race to the Democrats. (Josh Harkinson, November 10, 2006, Mother Jones)

Rove’s woe has been triggered by a Smurf-like (more on this shortly) libertarian, Stan Jones, who helped bring down the mighty Conrad Burns in Montana by snatching three percent of the don’t-tread-on-me vote, quite likely tipping the race to Democratic challenger Jon Tester. The Republicans have thus far accepted this likelihood with noble restraint. Jones told me no angry red staters have called to harass him, and I couldn’t find a single complaint about his race on conservative blogs. It could be Republicans are too shell shocked to notice. Or, to their credit, too preoccupied with soul searching.

That Jones could be the man who indirectly turned Montana, and thus the whole Senate, blue, is oddly poetic given that Jones is himself blue. By this I don’t mean he’s sad, louche, or a libertarian with Democratic sympathies (though the lattermost is also true), but that Stan Jones is blue. A few bloggers know the story: In the days leading up to the dawn of the new millennium, Jones believed the Y2K virus could cause the collapse of Western Civilization. To steel his immune system against a post-apocalypse wracked by pandemics, he began drinking a solution of ionic silver, which he believed was a more powerful armor than vitamin C. “The pioneers that crossed the plains of America used to put a silver dollar in the bottom of a bucket of milk to keep it fresh longer,” he explained when I reached him at his house in Bozeman. “So anyway, I studied it, and I thought it would be a good preventative, so I just started taking it all the time. But I wasn’t smart enough to figure out the whole story.” He didn’t realize the silver ions would bind with minerals in the Montana tap water and lodge in his cells. “The silver is nontoxic; it doesn’t affect my health in any way,” he said, “but I am a little blue-grey.”

A Republican who needs that extra three percent to carry Montana has already biffed too badly top get much sympathy.

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7 Responses to SHOULDN'T THEY EAT GOLD?:

  1. AWW says:

    Agreed. The usual knashing of teeth is occurring over the
    libertarians taking enough votes to prevent the GOP from winning
    (I believe the same happened in MO). But if the GOP ran better
    campaigns it wouldn’t have been that close.

  2. PapayaSF says:

    All true, but if the GOP had made a few nods toward their supposed core principle of limited government, they’d have had most of those libertarian votes and kept control of the Senate. Instead we got big-spending “compassionate conservatism” and the Dems back in charge of Congress.

  3. Orrin says:

    No, they wouldn’t. Libertarians are too nutty to support any modern party. Note that we’re talking militia territory here.

  4. Jim in Chicago says:

    Oh boy, you couldn’t invent a better specimen of Libertarian lunacy. Y2K indeed.

    These fruitcakes can’t become Dem fast enough for my taste.

    The NYT had a big sloppy wet kiss for the new senator from Montana today btw.

  5. Matt Murphy says:

    Jim in Chicago:

    It almost seems too good to be true, eh? Like something a novelist would dream up.

  6. Orrin says:

    Which is why we’re so often accused of inventing the libertarians and Darwinists who comment here. They just seem fictional. They really believe this stuff….

  7. H.D. Miller says:

    When he said he’s a “little blue-grey” he wasn’t joking… http://speakout.com/VoteMatch/people/Stan_Jones.jpg

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